When in a relationship, cementing it towards marriage with your man is as important as starting the relationship in the first place. Blessing Ukemena writes on how to know when he is serious about you.
This is the time of the year when you know if your man is serious about you or no. A lot of things happen towards the end of the year, especially in relationships. Many couple even get married at this time. A lot of travelling, meeting of parents and all that happen this period. In case you are not among those lucky few, here is how to know if your man wants you for keeps or for the fun of it. It can help you answer questions like if he is interested in taking the relationship to the next level?
He introduces you as his girlfriend: If you have been going around for sometime and he, one day, just introduces you very comfortably to his friends saying, “Meet my girlfriend, or the woman of my life”, it is a milestone. It means he has accepted you as an integral part of his life. Counsellors and psychologists agree that men normally do not want to give instant commitments, so when he introduces you as “his girlfriend or his lady” it means he is comfortable about his friends knowing your importance in his life. They consider their friends’ opinion important. This shows a sense of acceptance for you and a commitment to let the relationship move ahead.
You have a big fight… and make up. Familiarity leads to fights, and all couples have fights, very nasty ones with abuses and allegations. There is something to be learnt about your relationship after the fight. When a couple makes up after a fight, it shows that the partners want to resolve issues and continue. Psychologist Saloni Sawnani says that, “What makes these relationships strong for a lifetime is that no matter how major the argument, there is always resolution and compromise”. When the same happens in your relationship, a sense of permanency sets in. Then, you can be quite certain it is for keeps.
You can show your disapproval for something: You hate football, but pretend to follow it just for your boyfriend. If this has been going on for months, and one fine day you lose it and scream, “I just hate this game!” Be ready for the guy to scream back that he doesn’t like your chicken sauce (though he loved it last week). Consider this a turning point. The real test is when you start speaking up frankly and that is the phase of acceptance. In this phase, you want the other person to accept you as well as be your own self in different situations. The Reiss Wheel Theory of Love states that the second phase is when the worst in people shows up. Things such as their limitations and how the other person takes it tell whether you want to continue or give up.
You attend a wedding together: If a guy agrees to accompany you to a friend’s wedding, he is showing another sign. Watching your friend taking her wedding vows brings you closer as a couple as it sets the man thinking. Attending social functions together signifies making a relationship public. It also builds dreams of staying together and how you want to go about it. Attending any serious function together means the relationship is actually moving from being carefree to committed.
You realise he is very important: As a couple, you may be with each other for a year or three years, and when you look back, your best memories are of you both together. The realisation that you have had some of the best times together is a great one. Sawnani says, “It’s a very strange and nice feeling when you realise that even though the quantum of time spent with someone maybe lesser than the time spent with family or others, the contentment is a lot more. We all know that sometimes an hour feels like a minute, and sometimes, like a whole day… It is when the togetherness moments start becoming important that you take the relationship to the next level.”
You visit his house, meet his family: When the guy invites you over to his parent’s place, it’s a huge milestone. He could also agree to come to your place to meet your family. Inviting you over means he wants to let you into his world and meet his folks. Meeting his family shows he is serious about you. When he invites you over to his family, he wants his family to see you and expects you to bond with his family. He is making you aware of his home life, traditions, culture, family environment and habits. In short, he is giving you a microscopic view of his own life, his beliefs of family structures and wants to know what you feel about it.
You face tragedy together: Being together means facing situations together, and this could include a tragedy. Death, financial difficulties, job issues, problems with family are the things a couple face. When the guy just wants to be with you in a difficult time, he is ready to commit.
So watch out ladies, if he is not showing any of the above signs, you should seriously start considering other options. Really, how long does it take for a man to make up his mind about you if you guys have been together for two years and he really loves you as he claims?